Zero Dark Thirty - 2012

Geoff - 2/7/13

Zero Dark Thirty is a film about the hunt and ultimately the killing out of Bin Laden. You already know how this movie ends, but that doesn't stop it from being enjoyable. I found it interesting to learn that a young woman had so much to do with OSB's search. When I think of CIA Agents hunting down bad guys, I imagine standard Hollywood action hero types, not Jessica Chastain. Though I'm sure in reality the woman behind the character doesn't look like Chastain.

Zero Dark Thirty is directed by Katheryn Bigelow, who also directed The Hurt Locker and there is definitely a similar feel. As interesting as some of the facts are, the movie is actually quite slow until the final act when the Navy Seals actually raid OSB's compound. When that scene does finally show up, it starts out really exciting and really keeps you pumped up waiting to see Bin Laden get his.

Critics will all rave about how great Zero Dark Thirty is, just because they don't want to be labelled as "unpatriotic", but truthfully it's a good movie, not a great movie.

Rating - 2

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Chandler - 9/19/2013

I really didn't want to watch this movie when it was first released. It just seemed a bit too soon, as if it was an exploitation film attempting to cash in on a recent event. I should have known that Kathryn Bigelow (director of The Hurt Locker) wasn't going to fuck it up.

Zero Dark Thirty begins with the chilling phone calls of victims during the 9/11 attacks. It then jumps right into detailed scenes of water-boarding and other interrogation techniques used on Al-Qaeda prisoners. Regardless of how you feel about the United States' torture policy (and its effectiveness), it's a pretty chilling depiction.

So the story is about how we found Osama bin Laden and the raid which ultimately killed him. From what I can tell it's a pretty accurate portrayal, in fact it was so accurate congress launched (and later dropped) an investigation to see if the filmmakers had access to classified documents. I appreciate the attention to detail and facts, even if some characters are tweaked (mostly because we don't really know who these people are).

The raid on Osama's compound is an awesome piece of film-making. Having read up on various accounts of the raid, Bigelow managed to re-create the event in shocking detail.

Basically... this is the best of the 2013 Best Picture Nominees, and a much better movie than Argo.

Rating - 3

Silver Linings Playbook - 2012

Rachael - 6/24/13

I don't celebrate trashy people finding love in real life. Why would I on screen? Get a job, fix your shit, and get back to me. The Academy Awards nominating this for best picture is more bizarre than watching DeNiro root for the Eagles.

Rating - 1

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Chandler - 6/24/13

An emotionally crazed widow seduces a delusional, bi-polar felon. And it's shoved down your throat as a love story. Hollywood has run out of ideas.

Silver Linings Playbook suffers from many of the flaws most movies do. For one, I don't give a shit about the plight of the characters. The movie makes it quite clear how much this family loves Eagles football. So right off the bat, 99% of the county loses interest. Why the Eagles? They're a terrible underachieving team with an even worse fan base. It's almost as if the sports aspect was added to keep the attention of men in the audience. Make no mistake... this is a terrible chick-flick.

Robert DeNiro is horrible in this movie. He's an OCD, superstitious illegal bookmaker (as in gambling) who can't stop betting on his own team. We're lead to believe he has a successful book... but NO bookie is successful if they're gambling with baseless emotions. At one point he's trying to give away points on a spread, increasing it from 1.5 to 10! All because he believes in his team and the luck of his family. It's a excruciatingly over-acted scene filled with gambling cliches and mind numbing stupidity.

The two main characters are awful as well. Patrick almost beats some guy to death when he catches him fucking his wife. He then gets out of an 8 month stay at a psych-ward (court ordered) and attempts to get his wife back. He does this by losing weight and making excuses for his actions. I'm pretty sure his actions were justified, and he's just an idiot for wanting to rekindle a relationship with his whore wife.

Tiffany is the "new girl" whose cop husband has been killed. She's also unemployed after fucking her entire office, which I guess was some sort of coping mechanism. After meeting Patrick for 5 minutes, she decides to take him home and date him. Despite his refusal, love blossoms after she lies her way into trapping him in a terrible remake of Save the Last Dance (which is also a shitty movie).

Halfway through this film I realized I was watching various personalities of people I hang out with. And it's bad enough to witness the pathetic delusions in real life.

Rating - 1

Looper - 2012

Chandler - 4/22/13

In the year 2044, much of the United States is in poverty (presumably due to Obamacare). In the year 2074, time travel is invented and immediately made illegal. So of course mobsters use it to send people back to 2044 to be murdered, thus disposing of the body and evidence. The mob will also eventually send back the future self of the hired killers... creating a situation where a guy must kill himself and then live the next 30 years like a boss.

Ok... time travel movies are almost always terrible, with none ever coming close to the quality of Terminator and Terminator 2. But Looper is very good. It glosses over most of the paradoxes, and provides a pretty straight forward film that doesn't warp your brain too much (unless you let it).

Definitely worth a watch.

Rating - 3

Lincoln - 2012

Chandler - 4/15/13

Geoff hated this movie. He would tell you all his reasons, but he can't remember how to post a quick review of films he's recently seen.

However, I thought it was great. Daniel Day-Lewis was superb as Abraham Lincoln, and his method acting was so intense you really forget you're watching an actor. Sally Field also did a wonderful job as the broken-down and crazy Mary Todd Lincoln.

Sure, the film should have been called "The 13th Amendment." And the fever at which Lincoln fights for and  incorporates the amendment was a bit overblown. But it's still a good look back into that period of our country. The emotional toll the war took on Abe is the most interesting part of the story.

As a person who likes to tell random, long-winded stories... I found Day-Lewis' depiction of the President endearing.

Rating - 3

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Geoff - 4/22/13

Ugh... where to start. Lincoln is really long and probably wouldn't be a bad movie if it were called "The 13th Amendment" and Daniel Day Lewis wasn't being weird. The movie isn't really about Abraham Lincoln at all; this movie could be made with the exact same plot, without ever even having a scene with Lincoln in it.

And what was wrong with Daniel Day Lewis, you ask? He won an Oscar. He won an Oscar for the same reason Chandler mentioned, you forgot it was DDL when you were watching. The problem is he had some weird voice, and he told the semi-humorous long winded stories throughout the movie. Maybe that's how Lincoln was, maybe not. The point is, it was a huge distraction, and I found it extremely annoying.

And then, you get robbed of the payoff in the end of the movie, because the assassination scene was a complete letdown. Hey, Spielberg, how 'bout we skip just one of those lame anecdotes and toss in a a quick scene someone might actually want to see.


Rating - 1

Argo - 2012

Chandler - 3/4/13

I saw this movie in the theater last year, but now that it won Best Picture, I imagine they'll add it to The List in the next revision.

Argo was OK. Ben Affleck did a great job as director and a mediocre job as the lead character. The problem with this movie is they didn't have much to work with. It's an excellent real-life story that is better fit for a History Channel special. Almost every interesting aspect (outside the initial embassy raid) was stretching the true events of the operation. You know how this movie ends, and the way they show it is overly desperate for some drama that didn't exist. It made me roll my eyes.

John Goodman and Alan Arkin are excellent, and really save the film.

But if you want to watch historical non-fiction about Muslims kidnapping white people... watch Munich. It's a much better story with actual conflict. Argo is a poor man's Munich.

Rating - 2

Beasts of the Southern Wild - 2012

Geoff - 2/7/13

Beasts of the Southern Wild is set in a broken down bayou town called "The Bath Tub" and is a tale about the main character, "Hush Puppy". Hush Puppy lives in The Bath Tub with her sickly, drunk father, who spends most of the picture yelling at (her). I spent half the movie trying to figure out if Hush Puppy was a boy or a girl. In my defense, her father in the film often refers to her as "man" and tells her one day she'll be "king of the Bath Tub".

Beasts of the Southern Wild is an interesting movie for a few reasons. For starters the main stars in the movie haven't acted before. Quvenzhané Wallis (Hush Puppy) is getting a lot of acclaim, even an Oscar nomination. Though, personally, I think Dwight Henry who plays her father "Wink" is the one that did the better work.

Beasts of the Southern Wild takes us through the trials and tribulations of what happens to the people living in The Bath Tub when a levy breaks and floods their homes. As Wink's condition worsens and they're forced to evacuate, Hush Puppy must grow up quickly. The movie shows almost literal parallels between the citizens of The Bath Tub and giant prehistoric hog-like creatures called "Aurochs" as the Bath Tubbers fight their own extinction. It's a lot to wrap your head around, but it's actually done pretty well in the film.

Rating - 2

Django Unchained - 2012

Geoff - 1/9/13

Django Unchained is written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and follow title character Django (Jaime Foxx) as he shoots his was through the south in 1858, looking for his wife. Django is aided by German bounty hunter/dentist, Dr. Schultz (Christoph Waltz).

The performances in this film alone will win plenty of acclaim, but the story and images make Django Unchained a winner. Sure, you have to wade through typical Taratino violence and language, but that's part of the charm of his films. It keeps the feel of his movies gritty, he seems to like it that way and so do I. There are some hard to watch slavery abuse scenes, but in true Taratino fashion, he also adds in enough comic relief to keep you from shuttering too much.

I can't say I've loved everything Quentin Tarantino has done (From Dusk 'til Dawn), but when he gets it right (Inglorious Basterds), he really nails it. Django Unchained is an excellent ride that you hope never ends.

Look for it to be added to the 1001 list in the future.

Rating - 3

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Chandler - 1/14/13

Django Unchained is probably Tarantino's second best film ever (behind Inglorious Basterds). It was entertaining, and my only complaint is the length of the film. Although... in hindsight I'm not sure what he could cut out. There was some homage to Blazing Saddles... the end remind me of From Dusk 'til Dawn... and the KKK scene was probably the funniest I've watched in a loooooooooong time.

Christoph Waltz is also phenomenal. Give that man an Oscar.

Rating - 3

This is 40 - 2012

Geoff - 1/4/13

This is 40 is "sort of a sequel" to Knocked Up (2007) and is another comedy crafted by Judd Apatow. Starring Judd's wife, kids, and Paul Rudd. It seems whenever Judd Apatow thinks "family", he thinks of his own, sans himself. This should create some interesting daddy issues for his daughters, but I digress.

Basically the This is 40 is about a couple turning 40 and dealing struggling businesses and mouthy kids. As typical with most of Apatow's films, there are funny, sad, and thought provoking moments as the "almost all Apatow" onscreen family sort out their issues. Apatow always seems to manage to get his character's dialogue to sound real without coming off cheesy of forced.

I actually think this is one of the better Apatow films. It has a unique take on an old story and even gives a couple of laugh out loud moments thanks to Charlyne Yi's quirky character.

Rating - 2

Premium Rush - 2012

Geoff - 12/20/12 

Premium Rush is about a bike messenger (Joseph Gordon Levitt) who has 90 minutes to make a delivery that is also wanted by a crooked cop with a gambling addiction. Now this isn't like all of the other bike messenger/gambler cop movies you've seen.. no, no. This movie has bike chases, bike accidents and... well you can imagine the entire plot. It's the kind of storyline you'd make up if you were trying to think up what a bike messenger movie would be. It gives you no surprises and no reason to care.

Premium Rush is super predictable and doesn't bring a whole lot to the table. Dania Ramirez is in it.. so I guess there's that. Otherwise, you could probably skip this flick. I can't say I was expecting a lot from the film and it delivered.

Rating - 1

Ted - 2012

Chandler - 12/14/12

Ted was hyped up as one of the funniest movies ever. In reality, it was the funniest movie since The Hangover. Seth MacFarlane took a crazy idea and made it work thanks to his crude sense of humor. However... it got really slow at the end. And sappy. There definitely could have been more laughs. But hey! Who doesn't like watching a movie with a drunk, talking teddy bear and Mila Kunis?

Rating - 2

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Geoff - 12/20/12

Funniest movie since "The Hangover" doesn't deserve a 3? How far back does a movie have to go? if it was the funniest movie since the Marx Brothers, would Ted then get a 3? Or does there need to be some hieroglyphic of a cave man slipping on a banana peel?

Ted was really funny, I even laughed out loud a few times. Ted isn't going to surprise you; it's exactly what you expect and hope for, a crude talking bear and classic Seth MacFarlane humor. I'm sure it will get ruined by Ted 3-6, but I'd watch it again and laugh some more.

Rating - 3